Now that I have realized my fantasy, I'm now seeing how unreal it really was. Being my own boss is great and I definitely wouldn't get another regular job regardless of how things turn out. There's this daily hope that things will soon turn out well. Everyone tells you that as long as you hang on, you'll be much better for it. Your head is constantly filled with ideas of what to do, what next to try. You become creative, even in ways that surprise even you. You work from the moment you wake up to the moment you sleep, and even continue in your sleep/dream. Then, you are surprised by how hard it is to make a living without a boss. You do everything you can and even attempt the things you are sure you can't. There is no guaranteed end of month pay. You can't even replace the damaged keyboard of your tablet because you don't know when the next income is going to come.
Then everything costs money. Even the electricity you took for granted at work becomes a luxury. Internet cost comes right out of your pocket, and you realize the low cost broadband internet access you read about in papers is not low cost at all. Your printer now suddenly drinks ink. The parties you couldn't attend because of work you still can't attend, because of expenses. You can decide what to do each day, how to spend you time but you can't afford a lot of your options. You get more advice than business, even from the people you are trying to market to. The only people who want your services are the ones who don't want to pay and they want it like yesterday. While the ones who are willing to pay can't seem to make their minds up.
Everyday you go hunting for your daily meal. You eat only what you kill.