The past three months were unusual
I was very bothered about my NYSC
About where my posting will be
Where my state of deployment will be
I knew what I did not want
But was confused about what I wanted
I got a plum job offer at NSN
A job worth maneuvering for
I felt like lobbying for Lagos state
That was the beginning of my confusion
“Is it right or wrong to influence my posting?”
Though I felt it's not very very right
But I concluded that it's not wrong
As long has I do not bribe anyone for it
Well that was easy to force myself to accept
But will my desperate parents know that limit
“What does God think about all these?”
Have faith and do only the right thing
Now this led to the peak of my confusion
I believe influencing is not wrong
And so must be right
And doing the right thing is not being faithless
Not influencing is more right
But folding my arms is very hard
Having faith is of many levels
One is to abandon everything to God
Another is to submit everything to God
But both involves God taking control
Not influencing will be abandoning
That I won't even bother about the posting
Influencing will be submitting
That regardless of my efforts only God's will be done
And in my opinion both are alright
But I prefer the later
The later will involve my parents and other people
Whom I have little control over their actions
And they all have high tendency to bribe on my behalf
This makes the option I prefer
Most likely not what God will desire me to choose
And now I am most confused about everything