I have to write every morning and have it posted before 8:00am. On some days, it is easy. On other days, it is very hard. I also have to do clients' jobs -- mostly programming. Luckily, I am now good at programming and it's usually fun for me. The trouble is programming has a high switching cost. It requires a mood or specific frame of mind. I can't just switch from something else into programming and get the flow immediately. And it is not distraction friendly. Whenever I am programming I avoid doing anything else or I might muddle up the logic in my program and have to spend 1 hour to get back on track. So now add on top of those (writing and programming), the other numerous things I have to get done -- admin work, meetings with clients, marketing, preparing for and facilitating training, getting paid and keeping up with my online MBA studies. It's almost a miracle how I haven't broken down physically and mentally,
There is no allowance for illness or feeling down (depressed). I can't afford to wake up on the wrong side of my bed. I have to be high all day to get any significant work done and not feel overwhelmed by the different tasks and people pulling me from all sides. And it is crazy difficult to manage because I no longer get a fixed monthly income. My income comes from those overwhelming jobs and they are not all the same. Training gets me fast and easy cash, so I can't turn them down as most of the programming jobs and big client jobs take months to turn to cash. So it is not a case of let go of low paying work to have more time for high paying work and an easier life. High paying work will first starve you before it overfeeds you. Low paying work keeps the lights on while you pursue delivery and payment of the high paying work.
"So why don't you build a team?"
Yes. And I am already building a team. The cash outflow to maintain a team is real and consistent; the work overload I face is also real but not that consistent. So in solving one problem I am creating another. But I have no choice, I can't do everything by myself and if I want the company to grow I need to have a team. It's part of the entrepreneurial cost.
The whole entrepreneurial journey is a strange one for me. I have to think of today and the very far future only. I try not to think of the very near future -- next week, next month -- because I get cash flow fears. Where will the next money come from? I start feeling like I need to do more which isn't good because I am already running at close to my break point. I work from morning to night and still dream about work in my sleep. Now I know why everyone can't be an entrepreneur. The good part of it all is that I am getting used to it. Every passing day, I get less sensitive to the pressures that surround me. I am getting used to having lots of money now and having nothing the next week. I am getting used to spending on ideas and marketing strategies that I am not sure will work, and not feel like I threw money away when they flop. I am now getting used to spending without saving or considering where the next money will come from. I know that as long as I stay in the game and don't give up, it will all pay off someday. One day I will be able to go on a 6 months vacation and not worry about how the business will survive. The start of every business is always tough and that is my biggest consolation. I know it won't be like this for long. I won't have to juggle these many tasks forever.