I am nobody. So when people admire me, they have to dig deep to find something to like about me. Some have been very kind enough to tell me that something. "You're hardworking." "I like the way you think." "I like your simplicity." "You look intelligent." "You've got a kind sharing heart." "You're a role model for other [struggling] youths."
Also I have people who dislike me for very specific reasons. I remember back in my second year at the university. A colleague told me that he doesn't like me and he really can't say why. That was his specific reason. Luckily, by the time we were graduating we were very good friends. He later liked my simple lifestyle; another specific reason. I wish all the other people who dislike me end up liking me. But the unfortunate truth is that even some of the people who once liked me now dislike me. And they've got very specific reasons.
I think if we are all true to ourselves and try to get rid of all form of pretense, everyone of us will be loved passionately and hated passionately for consistent reasons. God has crafted each of us for a purpose. He fitted us differently, giving each of us habits and personalities that will attract some people and annoy others. And if we live in the light of that purpose and stay true to whom God has crafted us to be, we will be loved and hated for very consistent reasons.
By my natural purpose-driven crafting, I am shy, kind, caring, solitude-loving, money-indifferent, thoughtful, almost impossible to annoy, unsocial and workaholic. I am fashioned to be constantly creating something, especially something that doesn't yet exist. That is what most motivates me. I like to see myself as no less competent than the people who have created the amazing things we use and can't live without, and that it is my duty too to create things other people won't be able to live without.
In theory, it's a great faultless way to explain my life, habits and inactions. But in practice, people can't understand why I have to be unsocial to achieve it. How picking my phone calls, responding to emails, replying chats, attending networking events or taking time off by bee-like work life is going to prevent me from being me. Neither can I. I just know and feel it that whenever I do those things, I am less me. I struggle to do them.
It's the main reason I am sticking to being my own boss. I want to do only the things I am happy doing. To live a very selfish life, where I put my own inner balance and peace of mind above other people's expectations. And the result? People love and hate me for very specific and consistent reasons. And I take it as a good sign. A sign that I am living the life I was crafted for.