(Please note that this was written in 2013. A lot has changed in my life since then but the core still remains the same and is well conveyed in this article).
Today, I'm going to share with you all the weird things I do. They aren't really weird like the things you see people do in horror movies, they are just unusual.
So here I go --
- I brush daily with my left hand. Started doing this in 2010 during my NYSC year in Bayelsa. I can't forget that night Mfon, Rasheedat and I, at about 11pm were brushing our teeth with our left hands outside in Elebele corpers' lodge. I kept doing it daily and, now, I brush better with my left hand. And my teeth is white, creamy white.
- I don't have a single pirated software, movie, ebook or music on my laptop, phones and iPod. I buy the movies I love on iTunes, buy the original audio CD of music I want, I buy the software I really must have (only Microsoft Office, I use the pre-release versions of Windows 7 & 8). I also buy the books I read, ebook or print version.
- I don't snore. If not that I can count the people who I know who do not snore twice on the same hand, I won't include this.
- I read (nearly) only classics - books written in 1700s, 1800s and 1900s. It's less difficult to find a great read among them. Only the best made it to 21st century.
- I don't watch Nollywood. I don't even pretend to watch it.
- I don't listen to radio, the presenters are always interrupting at the wrong moments.
- I don't watch TV. No time.
- I eat Jollof + Spag/Plantain + Fish/Beef for lunch every weekday.
- I drink a bottle of Pepsi nearly everyday. Sometimes, just because I haven't had one that day.
- I sleep more in traffic than on my bed every weekday
- Nearly everyday, I think of Microsoft Excel
- I do push-ups 3 to 4 times weekly.
- I don't go to work with anything - no bag, no laptop, no anything I can't put in my pockets.
- I have a record of every single thing I have bought since last year. The chewing gum, the roast corn, the Biro and even the N50 I gave a beggar.
- I don't buy things on impulse. I don't do anything on impulse. My friends say I've got a slow processor, takes time to respond to impulse.
- I don't have Jean trousers, not even one.
- The only time I remove my specs is when I'm bathing, swimming or sleeping. And I buy like four of the same frames at once.
- I'm always thinking. It's the default mode of my mind.
- I don't telephone people. Sometimes I wish mobile phones weren't so mobile, so I can give a more plausible excuse.
- I write nearly everyday. It's the only way I can become an accomplished writer.
- I've stopped worrying about my accent, outside Nigeria it's an international accent.
- I find it extremely easy to bypass firewalls and e-restrictions. Most times without trying or even noticing there was a restriction.
- I read 3 chapters of the bible daily.
- I pray daily. Nowadays, it's become a very unusual thing.
- I use Vaseline Total Moisture. Been using it daily for 2 years now.
- I have 4 operating systems running side by side on my laptop. I once had 5.
- I walk a lot. It's the first thing my colleagues at work complain about.
- I can predict people, most people. Truth is you too can, just read all the Psychology books you can lay your hands on and practice hard. Soon, people will think you can read minds.
- I don't know where/what I'd be in 5 years time.